Well it's been a while since ive updated and i think it's time i did. I hate life right now, i hate it and it sucks big time. Nobody understands me but kyrstin. it's like shes the only one there for me. I want a cigarette so bad but i know it's not going to relieve my stress nor make me feel better, but i know it would ease my mind. i don't even know where to start off. Wowwww!!!! So much has happened, I guess i'll start off with Jason. So about two weeks ago i discovered this 16 year old sophmore named "Jason" He texted Kaylas phone out of nowhere and sent a picture of himself and kayla showed me and i thought he was cute so he texted me and we started talking and later on that night he asked me out. I said yes and we took it from there. Well the very next day not even meeting me he said Sunday night that he love me not to mention we hadnt even been going out for 24 hours yet. well this Wednesday i found out Jason wasn't real. I was so heart broken. Jason was actually this girl named Amber pretending to be Jason. Then it came to me it all made sense. Thats why he could never meet up with me or hangout let alone call me. Its weird to think that i went out with some fucked up bitch ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww im so depressed now and feel like lifes not worth anything. i still hate bb and of course no fucking body will fuckin listen to me and its pissing me the fuck off!!!!!! i have feelings too motherfuckers open ur eyes and realize that!!!!! i want to get homeschooled soo bad but no one will listen to me. im sooo sad:(
5:13 PM
Friday, September 18, 2009
Well It's Friday!!!!! Thank God, I dont know how much longer i could have lasted this week at BB. I feel a little happier because it;s Friday but other than that i feel the same about school which sux because thats where i have to go five days a week for nine months. Anyways, today was not any better but hopefully things will improve next week. I am not sure what i am doing tonight, Kayla wants to go to some sockhop at St. joe's and wants me to go with but i don't want to because there's going to be no body in high school there and i dont feel comfortable chillin with a bunch of 6,7 and 8th graders. I am hoping to go to the mall tonight because i have 30 dollars and would like to go shopping with it tonight even though it is not going to get me much but oh well, shopping is my passion. I am exited for tomorrow because Kyrstin, Kayla and I and maybe Tommy i dont know if hes going or not are going to Kankakee to do a walk for alhymers which is exiting because it is for a good cause. Anyways that is my story for today.Hope to have a fun night and a good day tomorrow...
3:14 PM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Well today was another shitty day. Why am i not surprised?... My day started no different than usual, I got to that horrible, huge school and walked to first period, history with Tommy, after that continued on my horrible day of not knowing where the hell to go in that maze of a school.In study hall i got pulled put out of class by my councelor Mr. Lamie, was told that i cant change my locker nor share one with Tommy who offered to share it with me (even though he wont be in the school anymore.) That not only made me mad but added one more bit to my anxiety. After study hall got let out i visited the bathroom and oh the best part puked my brains out. JOY!!! NOT... after i threw up a weeks worth of food (literally) i continued on my merry little fuckin way to algebra, sat in there for 54 minutes staring blank because i dont know shit about algebra. After that went to my last period and down to a half an hour left of school found out i was going home because of my inncident. Let alone that now i got my dad all pissed off at me and hes thinking twice about me living with him because hes worried about whats going to happen everyday when i go to school.Now im left with tears rolling down my face and a pounding head ache that ive had all day because #1 i HATE BB and cant stand anything about it and 2nd of all because nothing works out for me out of this because im either going to have to suffer everyday from my anxiety attacks at BB or have to leave my dads and go to who knows where. Im stuck and scared and miserable and didnt think things could get any worse but i was mistaken.
1:59 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Well i just started high school at Bradley Bourbonnais yesterday tuesday- September 15. Needless to say it sucked!!!!! I hate it there mainly because of how crouded it is and how big it is. Im not doing so hot eather which sucks. Thanks to Kyrstin though it has been a little better for me. Im so thankful for Kyrstin shes like my older sister and i love her like one. She has helped me tremendousley!!!! if it wasnt for he idk where id be right now.. Tommy is amazing too for showing me around and helping me to classes. Its nice to have someone as kind as Tommy because he lets me sit with him and lunch and lets me walk home with him thats the only good part:( anyways to make a long story short, life is miserable at bbchs and i dont want to be there but with the wonderful help of Kyrstin and Tommy i am still alive
Brittany,15 sing to me on august 31, red head with an attitude, emotional, anxious, bitchy lovable, friendly and shy i like to live my life to the fullest because u only live it once but at the same time i can be very depressed im a very ?able person and never know what to think anyways that should be all u need to know...
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